I'll just come out and say it, I'm basically an emotional wreck approximately ninety-six percent of the time. I try not to be, or at very least, I try to pretend not to be. It's even worse when I'm sickish which, at the moment, I happen to be. So yesterday when LaRue was watching Toy Story 2, I happened to sit down next to her right as the song about Jessies earlier life came on. LaRue cuddled up to me and, oh my heck, I just couldn't keep from crying. Of course I was trying to pretend I wasn't, and was doing my darnedest to hide my face from Jordan, but then he jokingly asked if I was afraid that LaRue was going to grow up, start wearing nail polish, stop playing with me and then donate me on the side of the road - and that was it. I wailed -WAILED!- "Yeeeheeheesss!" and sobbed for about five minutes. Sobbing in the midst of a massive cold/sinus infection is not my favorite, and heaven help me, now I can't get the song (and all of the emotional turmoil it evokes) out of my head.
Might I also tell you that when I found this on youtube the first comment underneath the video was this:
this song makes me think about my two daughters sherry and kitty i feel like they grew up so fast i did not have enough time with them.and every time i hear this song i feel like that doll left behind and i wish i could go back to the time that they loved me.
Rip my heart out, would ya?!
I know motherhood has it's great rewards and blah blah blah, but sometimes it just feels like it shouldn't hurt so much, you know?
Probably I should spend more time trying to make more meaningful moments with the girls and less time worrying about them growing up and leaving me, right?
Oh alright then, fine.
6 comments:
First off, I just love you and think you are great. Second, I laughed so hard at this that I cried and then tried to read it to Mark- but couldn't get the words out. I hope this does not offend- I think you are the cutest and NO ONE would ever donate you on the side of the road! :)
Isn't life grand! :o) Growing pains! :o) Wait until each of them get married! You'll cry because you are happy for them and cry because they are starting their own lives, for which you are very happy for them, and you have a tinge of sadness because they are no longer beside you. When the two boys got married 3 weeks apart it was a happy adventure, but inside my heart was crying, they were leaving. I couldn't ask for better sons-in-law and daughters-in-law and I love them deeply. We are so blessed! I cry on the inside when I hold Kirsten, she's so beautiful, and yes, one day she'll leave too. We'll be happy on the outside and crying on the inside. That's part of life...Thankfully, along the way, none of you have planted me on the roadside! :o)
I just watched that movie last week (part of our sick-at-home movie marathon) and I cried too! Matthew kept asking me what was wrong. Being a mom is kind of like walking around with an open wound all the time. Sorry for the sort of gross metaphor - but I can relate is what I'm trying to say. :)
Oh my gosh, Emily, you are so right about the open wound! It's a very physical pain, right around the chest area...
I do want to add that I was only laughing at Jordan's comment. I totally cried watching the clip, so I feel ya there, sista!
I would also like to add that I felt bad after making her cry, and tried to give hugs and make her feel better. It wasn't some sort of hit and run.
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